Saturday, August 8, 2009

OH SH*T!!

To: flag@whitehouse.gov
From: gnarlymeerkat@yahoo.com

Subject: OH SH*T!!

Dear Precedent Obama,

I received a fishy e-mail earlier that had some troubling rumors about the health care bill. Here it is:

"From: luv2huvrnd@gmail.com
To: gnarlymeerkat@yahoo.com

Dear Chauncey,

I went to the doctor today to get medicine. He's a nice man. Make sure to wash your penis, it's starting to smell bad.

Love, Grandma"

Tell Obama that I'm suspicious of this e-mail because my penis has a decidedly neutral smell. Please send help.

xoxo,
Outraged in Ontario

Fishing E-mail

To: flag@whitehouse.gov
From: gnarlymeerkat@yahoo.com

Subject: Fishing e-mail

To Whom it May Concern,

I recieved a fishing e-mail from Bob's Pro Shop yesterday and it seemed like the kind of thing Obama might want to have a look at. Here it is:

"To: gnarlymeerkat@yahoo.com
From: zanyjim@bobproshop.com

Dear customer,

Starting this weekend we are having our annual fishing supplies sale. You will recieve 10% off any purchases over $50, 20% off any purchases over $100, and 30% OFF PURCHASES OVER $200!! Don't miss out!!"

Please pass this along to President Obama and let me know what he thinks. Also tell him that I dig his pecks. Please send help.

xoxo,
Scared as hell in Sacremento

My Neighbor the baby killer

(Warning: Do not click on the link in the e-mail unless you enjoy homosexual pornography. If you do enjoy homosexual pornography CLICK THE LINK!!!)

To: flag@whitehouse.gov
From: gnarlymeerkat@yahoo.com

Subject: My Neighbor the Baby Killer

Dear Internet Man,

I was having a private conversation with my neighbor and he was telling me about a website that has fishy rumors about healthcare. Here is the website. My neighbor's name is Walter Henson and he lives at 4354 Wiener Wart Blvd. Anderson, IN 46011. He usually bowls on Wednesday nights from 7-10pm if you'd like to search his home or anything. Please send help.

xoxo,
Concerned in Connersville

Please send help

To: flag@whitehouse.gov
From: gnarlymeerkat@yahoo.com

Subject: Please send help

Dear Big Brother,

There is a man going around impersonating Obama, saying that he wants a single payer system.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpAyan1fXCE

How can this man get away with impersonating the President and saying these things? It's obviously not really Obama, because he has assured us that this "couldn't be further from the truth. Please send help.

xoxo,
your mom